Self Care

Creating Your Very Own Real World She Shed

She shed sea shells by the seashore. That’s what she shed. Wait…what?! The whole “she shed” concept came about several years ago as the woman’s equivalent of the man cave: a personal sanctuary to recharge, relax, and de-stress. Doesn’t that sound divine? Search Pinterest for “she shed,” however, and the photos can overwhelm one with their full-blown cottages replete with high-end decor, skylights, a mini fridge, porch swing…you name it. While the concept of a private retreat is a major plus for self-care, creating a she shed shouldn’t become yet another burdensome house project or expense. And honestly, most people don’t have an old garden shed, gazebo, or cottage on their property to transform into an English garden- or fairy tale-inspired she shed. We’ve got ideas on how to bring the she shed idea back to a realistic and manageable level so that every woman can create one without stressing out or spending a lot.

Find Your Space

If you do happen to have a structure on your property you want to convert into a fabulous she shed, that’s awesome—more power to you! If you don’t, you’ll need to get a little creative. Think of “she shed” as a concept, and not necessarily a building. Is your kiddo off to college? Consider transforming their bedroom into your she shed, and having them bunk with a sibling when they’re home for a spell. Does your garage have an extra bay? Do you have a screened-in porch? A sitting area in your bedroom? A never-used “formal” dining room? A really big walk-in closet? See where I’m going with this? Find even a corner that you can make your personal oasis; then cordon it off with a room divider or screen for more privacy.

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20 Great Book Club Questions for When Your Group Gets Stuck

Real Simple
February 2020

Thought-provoking questions that work for virtually any book.
The best book club discussion rises above each group member’s likes and dislikes, instead seeking to understand the book on a deeper level than each person could have on their own. With that goal in mind, ask questions that tap into the building blocks of stories, like characters, plot, settings, and symbolism. Don’t stop at what the author is doing. Try to understand why the author made their choices and how those choices affected the story. Here are some questions to help guide your group discussion. Read the entire piece at Real Simple.

 

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Why You Aren’t In Love With Your Bedroom…And How To Fix It

If you think of your bedroom as the room you merely sleep in, we’d like to change your philosophy on this. Your bedroom is definitely your shut-eye space, but it could be so much more—your personal sanctuary, romantic hideaway, self-care she-shed, or zen retreat. It should be a place you can feel calm, peaceful, and safe in. We’ve come up with several possibilities of why you aren’t in love with your bedroom, and how to fix this.

Don’t Let Chaos Reign

There is no way you can feel relaxed in your bedroom if clutter is covering every piece of furniture and floor space. Spend a weekend cleaning your room (pretend you’re a grounded teen!): sort clean and dirty laundry, put everything back in its place, remove items that should be in other rooms, and get rid of donations or rubbish. An organized, decluttered bedroom will help you sleep better, then wake up to a smoother, calmer start to your day. It also improves air quality when you don’t have a bunch of stuff collecting dust. Your bedside tables should have minimal items on them: a lamp, the book you are currently reading, maybe hand lotion or a candle. Don’t forget to make your bed and put your folded PJs under your pillow each morning!

Move the Stressful Stuff Elsewhere

Do you sit in bed and work on your laptop? Do you have an exercise machine in the bedroom? This is a tough one, but seriously consider moving these activities and their accompanying physical pieces to another room altogether. Work and exercise are excellent and necessary, but so is a bedroom devoid of stressful, demanding things. Waking up and seeing your laptop or elliptical first thing is not conducive to a relaxing start to your day. If you really want to take it up a notch, stop taking your phone to bed with you. The screen’s blue light mimics daylight, which messes with your circadian rhythm, decreases your REM sleep, and hinders you from falling asleep.

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Why Resolutions Fail…And How to Succeed Instead

January has flown by, and like 80% of those who made New Year’s Resolutions, you may be staring disappointment head-on by the time you get to mid-February. Why are resolutions so hard to keep for the majority of people? Some have even gone the opposite direction and just plain refuse to make resolutions at all, for fear of failing. It’s a new year, though, and it seems such a wasted opportunity not to use this time of year as an opening towards better things—a fresh start with a clean slate. Here are seven reasons why your resolutions may fail, and how to succeed instead.

1. Your resolution is too vague.

Being healthier is consistently the most popular New Year’s resolution, whether it means more exercise, a better diet, or weight loss. It’s an excellent one, but if your resolution is to generally “lose weight” or “exercise more” and you’ve got no specific goals, you’re setting yourself up for failure. There’s just too much grey area. Giving yourself specific targets makes your resolution more achievable. “Lose 15 pounds by Memorial Day,” “Walk 2 miles on the trail every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday,” or “Drink no more than 2 cans of soda per week”—these examples are more concrete, clear resolutions to reach for.

2. You’ve created unrealistic goals.

Making a resolution that is too lofty or unrealistic also sets you up to fail. For instance, if you don’t like your job, don’t make a broad goal such as getting promoted or finding a new job in three months. Rather, try creating a list of To-do’s that would help move you towards your goal: 1) Update your resumé and LinkedIn profile; 2) Attend a networking event at least twice a month; 3) Meet with a recruiter by next week. You can check items off your list as you go, knowing that these tasks are helping you work towards your resolution.

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Making Self-Care A Priority This Year

There was a time when the metaphor for self-care was, “Put your oxygen mask on first, before you help others,” like the flight attendant instructs on the airplane during take-off. But self-care isn’t something you should wait to do until it’s already emergency-level. It’s what you should do regularly so that you don’t reach that escalated state. Don’t be burned out or suffering from deteriorating physical or mental health before implementing self-care. In her TEDx Talk, kayaking champion Susannah Winters defines self-care as, “deliberately taking care of your well-being through restorative activities.” We should all be on board with that! Here are some realistic, easy ideas on how to make self-care a priority this year.

Start Small

People seem to think “self-care” means indulging in a 3-day spa getaway. Sure, it could mean that. Or it could mean simply taking 30 minutes out of your busy day to have a cup of tea in a quiet space while perusing a magazine or reading a book. It’s not about how much you spend or the length of time it takes. It’s about carving out a regular spot of time for yourself to decompress, to wind down, to be alone, to get physical, to take a nap—basically, to do whatever you need to do in order to feel better.

Define Your Self-Care

Make a list of five things you find to be self-caring. Everyone has different tastes so of course, everyone has different self-care needs. Make it even more specific by making different lists defined by time. Some examples:

30 minutes:

  • Take a walk (possibly with an audio book or some favorite music)
  • Have a glass of wine and watch an episode of “Friends” or “Fleabag
  • Read a book or magazine for pleasure
  • Call, text, or FaceTime with a special person you don’t see often
  • Draw the curtains and take an afternoon nap
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